nonbinary education
Hi! This is a carrd I made to teach people the basics of what being nonbinary means. I'm not going to cover every single detail but I'm going to try to cover the basics at the very least and common topics of confusion. I made it by myself, but I'm welcome to feedback from other nonbinary people and have asked them about some of the parts I'm not familiar with.
Notices:
I am nonbinary.
Queer is used in this carrd! It is not a slur. Do not message me telling me not to use queer.
Underlined words are hyperlinks! Click them if you're curious.
This is pretty much all from personal knowledge and my own experiences. If you want me to add more sources please provide them. For now this is mostly just for posting at people so I don't have to explain the same things over and over.
Nonbinary: what is it
if you are seeing this page, it's because you don't know what nonbinary means.
don't worry, i will educate you. scroll down now
Image ID: Image of an umbrella with the word "nonbinary" above it and the text inside: "Agender, Genderfluid, Genderflux, Multigender (ex. bigender), Demigender (ex. demigirl), Aporagender (ex. maverique), Xenogender (ex. crayongender), Cultural Gender (ex. Hijra), + Others not listed! These are all umbrella terms as well for a variety of gender identities and can overlap!! you can identify with multiple terms on this list. agender isn't really an umbrella term, but is definitely nonbinary! Nonbinary can also be used as a gender ID in and of itself! Not everyone listed under this umbrella identifies as nonbinary or transgender! Respect them if they don't." Graphic by @pennytable21 on Twitter.
Nonbinary identities are any gender identity that isn't exclusively and totally man/boy or woman/girl. Nonbinary is also a gender identity and descriptor in and of itself.
Agender is when someone has no gender or is genderless. Agender people can still feel connected to genders and you can be agender and another gender.
Genderfluid is when someone's gender identity is fluid and changes, like from girl to boy. It may change slowly or rapidly, or at varying rates.
Genderflux is when someone's gender varies in feeling or intensity, like going from boy to demiboy. (That would be called boyflux.) It's similiar to genderfluid.
Multigender is when someone is, has, or feels connected to multiple genders. Multigender people are often genderfluid, but aren't necessarily. For example, bigender is a multigender identity. Many bigender people are men and women, but bigender is just having two genders, and neither of them have to be a binary gender. I am a non-fluid multigender person!
Demigenders are partial genders. For example, demigirl is a partial girl. Demigenders can also be "barely this" genders, as in they feel they're very loosely a girl or only vaguely connected with it. There are more specific words for this but demigender is the most commonly used label for partial genders!
Aporagenders are genders outside of the man to woman spectrum and are entirely divorced from it. They aren't neutral, in-between, or a lack of gender.
Xenogenders are genders which aren't defined by their relation to the man-woman binary but are instead related to other concepts like animals, plants, or objects.
Genderqueer is a general umbrella label for Gender Funkiness. It can be someone's only gender label or one of many. It can be used as an alternative to nonbinary.
Cultural genders are genders from non-Western cultures which aren't man or woman.
There are a lot of different labels, and I'm sure I didn't get all possible categories here, but this is a pretty good general starting point for understanding the variety of nonbinary identities!
Not all agender (or any gender identity listed above) people identify as transgender or nonbinary. They are usually considered nonbinary as they aren't binary, but someone who is, say, bigender, might not personally identify as nonbinary. Don't "correct" someone about their own gender identity - they know it better than you do!
Below are some informational pages for things I don't want to explain like:
nondysphoric trans people
how to talk about and to trans people
neopronouns
why people use neopronouns
guides to using neopronouns
Please note that none of the lists are comprehensive and complete, nor will they ever be. Feel free to use Google if you don't like these pages!
Agender
and similar identities
Agender is when someone has no gender or is genderless. Agender people can still feel connected to genders and you can be agender and another gender.
Gendervoid or voidgender: When your gender identity feels like or is a void.
Neutrois: A lack of gender, or a gender that is neutral.
Genderfluid + Genderflux
Genderfluid is when someone's gender identity is fluid and changes, like from girl to boy. It may change slowly or rapidly, or at varying rates.
Genderflux is when someone's gender varies in feeling or intensity, like going from boy to demiboy. (That would be called boyflux.) It's similiar to genderfluid.
Text
Multigender
Multigender is when someone is, has, or feels connected to multiple genders. Multigender people are often genderfluid, but aren't necessarily. For example, bigender is a multigender identity. Many bigender people are men and women, but bigender is just having two genders, and neither of them have to be a binary gender. I am a non-fluid multigender person!
Bigender is when someone has two genders.
Trigender is when someone has three genders.
Quadgender is when someone has four genders. There are more terms for specific numbers of genders but I'm not going to continue, just assume they continue up the same pattern.
Multigender is when someone has multiple genders.
Pangender is when someone has all of the genders (available to them) or too many genders to count.
Ambigender is when someone has two static genders.
Plurigender is when someone has multiple, static genders.
Multiflux is when someone has multiple genders that are in flux.
Demigender
and similar identities
Demigenders are partial genders. For example, demigirl is a partial girl. Demigenders can also be "barely this" genders, as in they feel they're very loosely a girl or only vaguely connected with it. There are more specific words for this but demigender is the most commonly used label for partial genders!
x
Pixelgender: A gender that is the very smallest of their genders, or is the smallest amount possible of that gender.
Nan0gender or Nanogender: A gender that is a small gender, or a very small amount of it.
Quartergender: A gender that feels like or is a quarter of a whole gender.
Hypogender: A gender that is small but intense.
Themisgender and libragender: A gender that feels like or is up to a half of a whole gender.
Hemigender: A gender that feels like or is a half of a whole gender.
Demigender: A half of a gender; also a catchall for partial genders and sort-of genders
Paragender and magigender: A gender that is large, or is most of someone's gender identity. They are a half or greater than a half of a whole gender, but they aren't a whole gender.
Partial genders
"Close, but no cigar"
Aporagenders
Aporagenders are genders outside of the man to woman spectrum and are entirely divorced from it. They aren't neutral, in-between, or a lack of gender.
my go to is maverique i cant remember any others but it has a very unique name
Xenogenders
Xenogenders are genders which aren't defined by their relation to the man-woman binary but are instead related to other concepts like animals, plants, or objects.
Genderqueer is a general umbrella label for Gender Funkiness. It can be someone's only gender label or one of many. It can be used as an alternative to nonbinary.
Cultural Third Genders
Cultural genders are genders from non-Western cultures which aren't man or woman.
I am really not an authority on cultural genders at all, I am just aware that they exist in many cultures. They are diverse and I hesitate to speak on them because I'm really not familiar with them. If you want to research them, you can start by searching "third genders," although I think some cultures have more than three established genders.
I did a cursory google for a jumping off point. They get mildly transphobic at points but unfortunately many pages are like that.
Frequently Asked Questions
I see a lot of the same questions or misconceptions from binary people, who don't understand exactly what nonbinary is or what it means.
Questions
Don't nonbinary people have no gender?
No, that's agender people. Some nonbinary people have no gender but you can have a gender (or genders!) and be nonbinary.
What pronouns can/do nonbinary people use?
Any ones they like. Nonbinary people often use they/them but can use any pronouns, like he/him, she/her, it/its, fae/faer, ze/hir, xe/xem, bun/buns... The list is infinite, just like the amount of gender identities. Not all nonbinary people use they/them and it's wrong to assume they all do, or that they all like or prefer they/them pronouns.
Are nonbinary people supposed to be androgynous?
No. Nonbinary people are not supposed to present in any particular way, and there are many nonbinary people who either don't want to be androgynous or can't present that way for a variety of reasons. Nonbinary people can be and present feminine or masculine, no matter their assigned gender or actual gender identity.
If someone is nonbinary, isn't using any binary terminology to describe them like lesbian, man, etc. misgendering? Are they misgendering themselves if they call themselves nonbinary lesbians or nonbinary women?
Nonbinary people can still identify with and use binary terminology. You don't have to be divorced from the binary entirely to be nonbinary. The idea that you can "misgender yourself" as some people have put it is very silly. Who is the authority on your gender identity: yourself, or some random person? Nor does it "defeat the purpose" of being nonbinary: there is no "point" to being nonbinary, not anymore than there is a point to being binary. It's just what someone is.
Also, you can have binary genders and still be nonbinary! Demigender, multigender, and genderfluid are the most common identities to include binary genders in some manner. A multigender person might be a boy and a girl or a boy and maverique or every gender.
Why not use toric, trixic, etc. if you are nonbinary, instead of gay, lesbian, straight, etc.?
I'll entertain this idea, although it's extremely insulting to tell someone to use a different label instead of their chosen one because you've decided that their chosen label is incorrect.
There is an entire catalogue of nonbinary attraction labels and not every nonbinary person will feel comfortable using them. They may feel forced into a trinary or a NBLX label is misgendering them or that the labels are just wrong. Nobody is obligated to use any label, even if they seem to fit the description.
Example: I am a nonbinary boy! I do not particularly vibe with NBLM labels, although I accept them. I prefer to use MLM labels in most/all situations. If you told me to use NBLM labels instead of MLM labels I would block you.
This nonbinary identity seems contradictory, doesn't make sense to me, or I don't understand it. (For example, being a boy and a girl.) Does this mean it's fake?
No, things that don't make sense or seem like contradictions are still very real. There are plenty of languages I don't know, or mathematical equations and theorems and such that don't make sense to me or seem contradictory and they're real. (Like .9 repeating being equal to 1.) Not understanding them and finding them contradictory doesn't negate their existence.
Are nonbinary people trans?
This is a complicated question. Generally, the answer is yes, nonbinary people are trans -- that's what the white stripe on the trans flag is for -- but not every nonbinary person considers themselves trans, for a variety of reasons.
Trans nonbinary people don't identify completely or only with the gender they were assigned at birth (aka their agab). They're trans just like binary trans people.
Cis nonbinary people generally say they're cis because they identify with their assigned gender in some way, like being demigender or multigender. Not every nonbinary person who still identifies with their assigned gender considers themselves cis, and there might be other reasons, I just don't know them.
There are also nonbinary people who don't consider themselves cis or trans. Sometimes this might be because they're rejecting the cis/trans binary.
If you want to know why someone calls themselves something, you should politely ask them personally, because I can't read every nonbinary person's mind and list out every possible reason someone uses whatever label.
Do nonbinary people experience gender dysphoria?
Many nonbinary people experience gender dysphoria, but it's not a requirement to be nonbinary (or trans) to have dysphoria. Nonbinary dysphoria can be like binary dysphoria, or it can be the stereotypical "androgynous" dysphoria, or it can be something entirely different. You shouldn't ask invasive questions about how people personally feel dysphoria though, that can feel very shitty.
Do nonbinary people medically transition? (get hormone replacement therapy, surgery, etc.)
Some do, some don't, just like binary trans people. It's a matter of personal choice and the ability to access medical services if they desire them.
Misconceptions
Nonbinary is not a third gender.
This one is okay on the surface. Nonbinary is not "a" third gender, yes, but this phrase is basically used to force nonbinary people back into the binary by then categorizing us as man-lite or woman-lite or as a third, no-gender androgyne category, and denying the existence of nonbinary genders, which are very real and are third, fourth, fifth, sixth... etc. genders.
Morgannnnn what's your Dysphorias
Since this page is for talking at a faceless internet entity that doesn't exist in my brain, I will share my weird dysphoria details. Maybe it'll help a fellow enby out.
I have "binary dysphoria" (I want to be perceived as a man) and also "alternative dysphoria" where I absolutely do not want the body or parts of a man. I am altersex, which is an obscure but very straight forward term -- alternative sex, altersex, ba-boom. If sex and gender were the same thing, I would be agender, but I am not.
Altersex was coined to replace slurs and to give actual language with not terrible roots. It's not meant to be applied to people without their blessing, you have to identify in, if you call some random trans person altersex they will smite you.
Anyway. I'm angenital, which means I hate having sex characteristics. I want to have no genitals at all. That is the ideal for me. "Both" sets of genitals are repulsive to me. If I was going to have genitals, because I have a very slight and infrequent desire occasionally to have something, I would want something that I could get rid of the moment I felt uncomfortable with it. I would also like something that isn't recognizably human, because again, human genitals (and most real genitals honestly) are nasty as hell.
This is something I've felt long before I knew being trans was a possibility, or before I had heard of these even conceptually, so I mean, it can happen in a vacuum. I felt very strong emotions when finding out there were terms to describe how I felt about it, so, I do really hope this helps someone, even if mostly binary cis people will see this.
some xenogenders
these are things i either made or am
Attentiongender
Attentiongender flags! High-resolution (5000x3000px) png files available here!
Attentiongender, or attention gender, is an ADHD neurogender and xenogender where your gender is connected to your ADHD. Alternatively, you could be a "transtrender" and have ADHD.
you can use any pronouns
you can present and feel however you want as long as you relate to it
you don't need dysphoria
you don't have to be a tucute/transtrender/whatever i just thought it fit with trendercore
you can have any type of adhd not just combined or inattentive
self-dx is fine
I chose orange and purple because they were the most common colors on the google search "adhd symbols," there is a flag by yourfavehas-adhd.tumblr.com which is similar and i did see and i put the colors in a different order so they wouldn't be too samey.
butterfly: adhdgrrl.wordpress.com/about-the-butterfly
i have diagnosed combined type adhd and am a trans enby! i, Morgan, @pennytable21, definitely coined this and did not steal it from a nasty transphobe on the 18th of October, 2020.
Plantgender
it my plant xenogender
Image ID 1: Flag with four horizontal stripes, like the nonbinary flag. The stripe colors from the top down are: muted blue purple, goldenrod, off-white, and muted olive green.
Image ID 2: The same flag as before, but this time with text overlaid on each stripe. Stripe 1: masculine and feminine. Stripe 2: nonbinary genders and being nonbinary. Stripe 3: genderless. Stripe 4: plants.
Image ID 3: The same flag as before, but this time with an orange drawing of a flower with a stem and leaves off to the left.
Robogender
Image ID: The robogender flag Faunus made, with the meanings of the stripes listed. From the top:
Blue: feelings of masculinity.
Purple/Pink: feelings of femininity.
White: Gender nonconformity.
Grey: Feelings of being a robot.
The original creator of this robogender posted it on Twitter, so in the interest of preserving information, I will be transcribing robots thread. This is the definition and flag I use, in case the thread is ever deleted, taken down, or otherwise unavailable. At the time of this entry (October 16th 2020 7:50 PM PDT) robots pronouns are it/its and ro/robots.
source: twitter.com/SL33PY_M4G3/status/1268312206044729350 and archive link
robogender is a term used by people who feel like theyre deeply attached to robots gender-wise! they can feel feminine, masculine, or any other way and still be robogender! thats what the blue, pink, and white lines are for!!
anyone can be robogender regardless of their birth assigned gender or sexual orientation!
there are also no set pronouns for robogender!! you can use any pronouns youre comfortable with!!
robogender was coined by faunus (@SL33PY_M4G3) june 1st 2020!!
Attributions for various things used on the site! I made or edited pretty much everything myself.